Bella Carrera Interview
As part of my documentary, I have decided to interview and talk with Bella Carerra, a.k.a. The Tickle Queen. She talked with me about the sex industry, objectification and domme work.
Richard: How did you. Because I’ve seen some tickle videos and stuff that you were working on and stuff like that. How did you get into this industry of kink?
Bella: Well, that’s an interesting question. So it’s started with me being really rebellious as a kid. And I yeah, I wasn’t really raised with the same constructs that a lot of people were raised with. So I didn’t. I was really free. I was really able to be free. And then when I got into the real world, I was like, Oh, there’s a place for that. And I went into when I was 18, I became a dancer and I was a stripper in Portland, Oregon. And. It really wasn’t for me. So it really wasn’t that really wasn’t my role. I couldn’t find my place and I always got tickled, so and I always kind of liked that. And then I was like, That’s really interesting. So I went online and I was, what, 21? And I went on Craigslist and I found a ad for a tickle fetish video or a fetish video. They actually didn’t tell me it was a tickle fetish video at first. And I was like, okay, so I did this video with this girl and in a Batman outfit, which is kind of a popular tickle video of mine, it’s an older one. It’s something that was a while ago. And they they told me that this was a kink and a fetish and a real thing. And I was like, wow, cool. So I kind of didn’t do anything with it for a few years. And then I just kept thinking about it and thinking about it and wanting to pursue it and wanting to do it. Kind of like any 22 year old, right? Like that has this like kink or this thing that they’re interested in and they just kind of want to follow it. So I did and I called up those people. They weren’t available anymore. They didn’t they weren’t filming anymore, but they directed me towards somebody who was. So I just kind of started filming again. And it’s been the best experience and the best health choice I’ve ever made. Huh?
Richard: So I’m trying to figure out what that video was because I feel like. I feel like I’ve seen a tickle video with. A Batman character was the other was the other girl. Oh, sorry. You.
Bella: Yeah, it was a it was a complete hooded Batman character. And I was cellophane. And then there was another female I filmed with who? We were like good friends. To this day, I don’t want to say her real name. I forgot what she filmed as, but yeah, it was. It was a really great experience. And just the fact that we’re still friends to this day is awesome.
Richard: So have you done? Because mostly I’ve talked to women that are like Dom’s and that I’ve talked to like a few slaves to. Have you ever done like Dom work like not not tickling specific I.
Bella: Have but that’s not really where I find I find that that’s more work for me. That’s not really my natural role. I am a more of a switch, so I prefer to be able to get out aggression in a more positive way. And it’s it’s really lighthearted and friendly and even you can be mean evil Dom and still tickle and it’s it’s just more fun and it doesn’t have that element of not only fear. Well, it kind of does. If you’re tied up, you’re scared to get tickled, but it doesn’t have that element of negativity.
Richard: Yeah, I yeah, you’re right.
Bella: Because I mean, there’s a lot of there’s a lot of negativity associated with BDSM. Unfortunately, that’s not naturally the case, but it’s what we’ve made it. And a lot of that’s a false outlet rather than. Dealing with their shit.
Richard: Right. Right. Because, you know, some girls, I guess you I didn’t want to give you the wrong impression when I was like emailing you and think I was some scammer or anything.
Bella: Right.
Richard: No worries. Because like this this because I do like talk about like. Effects of BDSM and how it can be a positive thing. That’s like.
Bella: Absolutely.
Richard: Doing this documentary. It’s have you ever seen this documentary, this other documentary fetishes from by Nick Broomfield?
Bella: No.
Richard: Yeah. Most.
Bella: I’ve been in school for the last like. 13 months.
Richard: Oh, this documentary came out in 1996.
Bella: Oh, no, I haven’t.
Richard: Well, yeah, they they were talking about how like these other dames, one of them was talking about how a lot of people think that we hate men. That’s why. That’s why we do what we do. And that’s not true. The truth is, we actually be in this industry. You have to love men or to have some compassion for men. Is that what you think? That’s true.
Bella: I think that with any industry, there’s a variety of reasons why people get into it. And to generalize, one or two would be a fallacy. So yeah, there’s one or two where that could be the case and there’s one or two where it could not be the case. So you can’t say that it’s one or the other. It is a very positive thing. It’s a very. I actually go to school for I study psychology and I go and I have I’m certified in health and business to be able to help people understand themselves better. Right. So this is a big part of. Where the confusion lies, I believe, because some people do get into it for negative constructs and do get into it for negative things that convoluted in a way that. Distorts the true meaning of it, unfortunately. So you can’t negate the fact that there are those. Toxic minded people that bring that into the industry. But there are very positive females and I choose not to use the word girls because we are an adult industry, so we are not dealing with a term of children. So these women are some of them are in the sex industry. Some of them are perpetuating trauma. They are re initiating trauma and normalizing it in their head so they can feel okay and empower themselves in situations where they didn’t feel empowered, if that makes sense. So a lot of times it’s a way for them to empower themselves through their own mental trauma and emotional trauma, which is good. But you have to take it at face value. You have to know what it is. You have to know what that that’s what it’s for. And you have to be able to consciously and intuitively deal with these issues as you’re dealing with BDSM in a healing aspect. Not just a frivolous guy calls up. Woman said, This is what I want. Woman says, This is my price. And she he says, Then I’m going to want this and this and that. 3 minutes of this and 6 minutes of this. And then I want you to do this. Okay. Anything else you want? I’ll be the dom OC. You know what I mean? That doesn’t seem like a Dom sub situation, and that’s what it turns into a lot of the time. So I didn’t feel that having somebody call me to tell me what to do as a dom made any sense. I didn’t think that that was something that correlated as equal and it still allowed the male mentality to top from the bottom per se. So still saying this is what I want from you as a woman. And the whole industry to me is a little backwards. So again, that’s why I choose to do this side of it, which is light hearted. It’s you can switch it, you can feel empowered. And it’s just not as. It doesn’t have a quality to it that has a demeaning quality to any either person. Does that make sense?
Richard: Yeah. No, that definitely makes sense because like, both people can enjoy tickling and tickling is not painful.
Bella: Right.
Richard: Well, that last part.
Bella: Unless you’re doing it wrong, like digging into somebody with your nails or something where it hurts rather than feels good. Well, that’s just. Yeah.
Richard: Like, yeah, you kind of, like, want to graze the person. You don’t want to, like, dig. It was like, this is painful. Right? Yeah.
Bella: Some people that think that that’s, you know, they watch certain clips and they get also the wrong idea and they go to do it in a real session. I’m like, That’s not how this works.
Richard: So you said that like a lot of these girls are like redirecting trauma back in. What they do is like that was.
Bella: The reenacting it. So what happens is psychological trauma creates neural pathways in the brain that your brain kind of keeps writing right. Like it has. When an ant makes a pathway, it kind of sticks to that same pathway. Right?
Richard: Right.
Bella: For from a different pathway. It could, but it doesn’t. So it makes that and the more travels, the deeper that groove gets right, the deeper it gets, the deeper it gets. And then you have this really deep groove pathway that they’re never going to deter from. So there’s a lot of time where trauma has happened early in life, around the age of four or around the age of 12. And these situations during times of growth. Have deep, lasting, traumatic emotional effects in the brain that lead to neural pathways that leave these grooves of this thinking, right. This thinking of whatever. This either victim mentality or. Whatever sort of trauma emotionally that person went through. So when they come to themselves sexually and they’re able to empower themselves, they’re able to break that groove and that pathway for the first time. Right. And they’re able to redirect for the first time and they feel so empowered. Yet it’s just kind of going around and going right back on the path. It’s just that moment. And it’s great for that moment to feel empowered, to get that feeling of empowerment. And you need that and you need to hold on to that. But unfortunately, this industry twists that around so that they take that feeling of empowerment and say, That’s cute. This is what I want from you. And all of a sudden that empowerment goes away. So that’s kind of where I feel women keep initiating that trauma. They keep allowing that situation to. Come about so that they can feel empowered to stop it. So they let a toxic mentality around them to be able to say, I can stop you. And it’s mentally empowering and it stops that group. However, if you don’t mentally work past that further and heal the emotion behind it. You’re just initiating that same trauma over and over again.
Richard: But wouldn’t you agree that like all sex workers. Like doing the sex work they do, like whether it’s prostitution or stripping or BDSM. Like all of them aren’t trying to get over necessary, like real trauma. You would agree with that, right?
Bella: However, our society has put so much trauma onto females, a lot of it is unrecognized. There’s a lot of unrecognized PTSD and there’s a lot of unrecognized, toxic male abuse from a very early on that women don’t even realize that they’re associated with. And meaning it stems so deep. Look at our marketing. That’s all. It’s all our marketing. When it comes, it comes to sex. It comes all the way down to sex. It comes all the way down to primal everything. And so then you ask yourself, okay, well, why does one. Other when they’re young, let’s say, let’s say under the age of 24, why does somebody under the age of 24 want to get into the sex industry?
Richard: Are you asking me? Maybe they think it’s fun or maybe they want to. Maybe they. A dream was to pose for Playboy. Or maybe. I mean, I don’t know. It could be anything.
Bella: That stems from. A view of objectification. Right. So women are meant to be objectified. That is their role. You put a picture of Obama’s wife and Trump’s wife together. And you know what we get? We get people that are commenting on who’s hotter. Oh, my gosh. I thought I put it on. Sorry, I put it on her. You know what I’m saying? Like, it doesn’t even matter. They’re the first women of America and they’re giving commented on their looks. So being a sexual creature is ingrained in you. It’s to the point when you’re 18, you say, I decide to empower myself and make it work for me for money. When sex is a commodity and not a natural act of love, it becomes a business. And when it becomes a business, it’s not an emotional attachment. So why do women want to emotionally detach from sex early in life? And create a business out of it, make themselves a commodity.
Richard: I was at another question towards me is mostly. That’s a good question.
Bella: At least reined in them that they are a sexual being meant to be used.
Richard: But doesn’t that also apply to men, too? In some ways.
Bella: How our society has viewed it for the last 150,000 years.
Richard: That long. Humans have been around that long.
Bella: I’m just. Since around 3500 BC when the Bible was created. You have distrust of sexes. So yeah, this is an area of study that I’ve been studying for the last five years because I too had these same questions. And when you get down to Y and you get down to Y and you keep asking Y, where does it come from? And then you start getting into philosophical societal constructs, and then you start getting into the root of our structure of our society and how women are placed in a certain role. And they’re really not allowed to defer from that role. And this is why we have everybody, including regular actresses, going to only fans because not only is it normalized. It’s expected. So yeah, I have no problem normalising the sex industry. It’s the mentality of it being for sex and not the woman being able to do whatever the fuck she wants. There’s a difference.
Richard: Well, yeah, that’s. I mean, that’s true. Like, because. But there are plenty of men that have only fans too. I think I remember a few months ago, like I think Chris Brown said he got an onlyfans or.
Bella: Right now you have to also understand, until about five years ago, there were 35 male porn stars. Do you know how many women porn stars there were?
Richard: More.
Bella: About 100,000 more. So you have to understand that just because all of a sudden men are normalizing sexuality like that and it’s okay. It doesn’t negate the fact that. Women’s role for the last, I’ll just say, hundreds of years has been in a sexual position. And since we make $0.20 less on the dollar, which has been reported from the White House, therefore we have to do 20% more work just to be able to have the same income that you do. And then we have a female pink tax, which means our products get taxed 20% more. So that’s 40% more less money that we have on a daily just for being female. So where does that put us in an industry that we need to be able to compensate for that money. So therefore, sex work has to be normalized in order for us to be able to have equal compensation.
Richard: You should be a TEDx talk speaker. It will be like. Yeah, well.
Bella: And. You can you can put this as your your first experience with it. And I love it. But I took a big leap out of the industry because I got really tired of people telling me what they wanted from me when I was literally I didn’t even need to be in it financially. I wasn’t doing it for finances, I wasn’t doing it at all for finance. I had my own. I was fine. I literally was doing it because I found out that my health was so poor that if I didn’t do something, I was going to be on 17 different medications and possibly in a wheelchair and die in a few years. So I had to figure out something. This is why I do what I do. I don’t do it for the sexual aspect of it. I do it for the healing aspect of it. It gives me dopamine. It gives me serotonin that be able that’s able to regulate my melatonin. It’s able to help me sleep better. I’m able to regulate my Crohn’s disease better. Because I’m laughing and I’m happy when I’m depressed because I can’t move, because I have my spine fused together and there’s nothing I can do for my back pain. I don’t want to take Vicodin. I don’t want to take pills. I’ve got Crohn’s. I can’t. I will puke. So what am I going to do? Because I’m so depressed I can’t even get out of bed. And now that depression is making my pain hurt more fucking tickle me, make me laugh, make me smile Make my dopamine rise my adrenaline soar Make my blood pump Make my body react in a positive way so that I can be able to function without medical pills. And I am not on one of them. And that is why I do what I do.
Richard: Well, that’s inspiring. It really is.
Bella: So yeah, I believe this is a very positive way for different things and for different meanings for different people. I also understand the toxicity that surrounds it as well and why and the systemic issues that have. Really encompassed that industry. My industry, our industry, the sex industry is just is. And there’s basic primal mental issues that are in there as well. And that’s you’re not going to get away from that.
Richard: Right. I’ve talked about like I remember watching I know you probably haven’t watched it because you’ve seen like a very you’re a very young, intelligent young woman. Are you are you liberal.
Bella: By the way? I have my own views on everything. I am literally no party. I have been no party for over six years. As my political party, I do not believe that the political parties serve my interests. So. I’m I am open to receiving information from all points of view.
Richard: Okay. So I was watching this video on from The Daily Wire and this guy, Matt Walsh, put out an article, said that sex work is not empowering. Now, based on what you told me. What would you say to that?
Bella: I would say he’s 50% correct because he’s only talking about 50% of people. You can’t be generalizing towards an entire industry. Because then you have people like me that get thrown into that, and then I get looked at like I’m some sort of whore that’s only perpetrating trauma, which I’m not. So. That’s where I wanted to differentiate the two. There’s two different sides, there’s two different mentalities, and there’s probably more because this is my reality. That’s their reality. There’s so many different realities and perspectives to come from. To generalize, to say that we are all have the same one is foolish.
Richard: Okay. Fair enough, because a few of the girls I talked to, they’re like, you don’t have a right to say what’s empowering to me.
Bella: Or exactly at this point. That’s exactly my point. No one can tell somebody what their perspective is. Nobody can say because these are my experiences in my perspective. Because you’re doing this, that means it’s because of my perspective bullshit. It’s because of their perspective and what they went through and what they’re dealing with. And that’s where the sense of ego, the sense of self, we don’t have to incorporate our ego into everybody’s situation. We can have empathy without inserting ego. You can have empathy for somebody’s situation. You can empathize. That’s your situation. That’s interesting. Explain to me how that makes you feel. Don’t put yourself into the situation. Don’t condemn somebody because that’s what you went through, because that could be the only thing that could ever possibly happen. Everybody’s different, right?
Richard: Yeah. Everyone’s different. So. And you talked about like the female side and I, I kind of want to talk about the male side. So I’m trying to be impartial with this documentary. Why do you think like you studying psychology, is that right? Why do you think so many men, grown men, go see Dom’s.
Bella: Again, our society has a lot of false constructs around sex. A lot of men have been told, you have to be manly, you have to be dominant, you have to have go to school and be a lawyer or a doctor or something to sustain a woman that’s gorgeous and have a trophy wife. And you have to have 2.5 kids and you have to have a dog with a white picket fence and you have to be that leader. And every man does not fit that mold. But yet they live that life. And by the time they’re a lot of time, again, this is one secular situation. A lot of times, and this is a situation that I come in contact with a lot. That by the time they’re between the ages of 29 and 45, they realized they’re living a life. That’s a lie. It’s a complete lie. It’s what everybody else wanted for them. Or they’re hustling their ass off and they’re getting completely demeaned by everybody and they don’t even know who they are anymore. So, you know, and and now they’re married. They’re not allowed to experiment. They’re not allowed to explore. And men are very sexual. They have testosterone that pumps through them every morning, right. When they wake up. They have testosterone pumping through them throughout the day. That is a that is a hormone that we do not understand enough about. They need a release. If you do not release a man 30 times in a month, you have risk of getting different cancers. You have to have it’s a physical need. So when you have these situations of these marital conflicts and now you are no longer sexually attracted to each other because you’re emotionally attracted to each other, what do you do?
Richard: I. Was that another question? Damn, I didn’t know I’d be asked this many questions. Could you repeat it? I’m sorry. Could you. Could you just repeat it for me?
Bella: Let’s just say you’re in a relationship, right? And you’re you’re a relationship at this point. You’re an attorney. You realize. You want to be submissive. You don’t want all of this pressure. Your wife looks at you like you have to be a dominant man, like you have to provide. Like you have these you you’re the leader. And you don’t want that anymore. What do you do?
Richard: Ask if she’s into kinky shit.
Bella: That’s a great answer. Thank you for saying immediately. “Not go hire A domme”, I appreciate you so much. Oh.
Richard: I didn’t. I didn’t. Okay.
Bella: First of all, you have communication, right? And that is what’s lacking in a lot of relationships. And that is, unfortunately, most of the situations that I find where they’re going behind the spouse to. Go get BDSM and that is what I found as being a professional domme. In my world of tickle fetish and being a switch, I get more couples than anything else. I get more couples requests, more women hitting me up. It’s more fun, it’s more lighthearted. They enjoy it. It’s it’s arousing with their partner. It’s fun. And, you know, I’ve never had such happy couples. Come to me ever since I’ve been doing this. So why people get a dom? It is again. Perspective and situational, I believe. But I believe that the submissive mind and the male submissive mind is a real thing. And I don’t believe that every man has to fit that. Masculine male role. I don’t I don’t believe every brain is structured and geared the same way. It’s not possible. So to condemn a man for being submissive to a woman, I think is also very foolish.
Richard: Yeah. I mean.
Bella: Just because and personally, I, I grew up with much different constructs. So I grew up not realizing that I was a different gender than everybody expected me to be. And I was very tomboyish and like my parents didn’t care that I did tomboy things and I really didn’t realize that I was very I could be feminine even until I was like 20. Adlon Yeah, I was really because I wasn’t raised with. This is girl and this is boy I was raised with. Who are you? Do what you want. So while I was racing my bike in the cul de sac, I was doing it in a dress, but I didn’t like it. But that’s what my mom made me wear.
Richard: So you were playing baseball with the other boys, wearing a cap and shit like that?
Bella: Yes. I was. I was. I played softball. I was in soccer. I played I was a goalie in soccer. I was the shortest goalie and my dad was the coach. And we never won a game. And I said, Dad, why do you put the smallest person in the biggest net and you’re also the quickest? So everybody has their role, right? Everybody has a place. And that’s what my dad saw is everybody had a place. And he was really good at placing everybody in their role. Allowing them to flourish in their role and not condemning them for not doing good, but naturally placing them in their role. I wasn’t good then. None of us were. None of us were good at our roles that he placed us in. But as the years developed. Those were our natural rules and we became great at them. Because we were playing roles that we didn’t naturally weren’t meant to play. Like I would always play a wing. And that wasn’t my role. That wasn’t my natural role. Huh?
Richard: Well, yeah.
Bella:] I may not have won the game he was coaching, but we stick with our roles. And over the years, when we played together, we. We saw we understood why he did that, even though we hated the fact we never won. And that’s OC because that’s what switching does, right? Because sometimes in our brain, when we realize that we’re playing a certain role that we are not meant to play.
Richard: Yeah.
Bella: It’s sometimes a very painful transition to get to that correct role. There’s a lot of growth period where you may not win. And I think that’s a lot of the time when people see DOMS is when they’re in that transition. And they really don’t know where their roles are, but they know that that’s not it. They know they’re not in the right one. They know they’re not happy. They know they’ve been placed in the role that society does, not wants them there, and that’s not where they want to be. So a lot of this transition time where you’re not winning any games is usually when people come see a dom. For their own personal growth. And then they figure out what their role is. And sometimes they stay there with the dog. Sometimes they advance and move on. Sometimes they find a different dom and realize they have different interests. But that’s what sexuality is. It’s growth, it’s continuum. It’s never the same. It’s always growing and changing. So when people see Adam, I think they’re just really either in a they’re either in a transitional place or they’ve really found out their true self.